Happy 2019!

Happy New Year everyone!


I hope you all had a great 2018, and I hope you all have an even better 2019!



How did all of you do concerning your book and reading goals for 2018? I achieved my goals, reading 72 books in 2018, with most books being 4 stars reads. According to my Goodreads stats, I read over 22 thousand pages!



This year, my reading goal is 50 books, though I hope I get to read more.



Concerning the new school semester, I will try my best to keep up my blog, because I really do miss blogging. But again, it depends on the work load. If it's anything like last semester, unfortunately blogging regularly may have to become a summer thing. I hope you can all be patient with me! I still think you're all awesome.



Do you have any non-reading resolutions for the new year?



Personally, my resolution is really just to take better care of my mental health. Whether that's through self care, or not hesitating to talk to someone when I'm struggling, I think I need to focus on myself a bit more.



Have a great year, everyone!

Life

I'm not sure how to title this post so I'm just going to keep it simple. Life. Because thats what this post is about.



I'm making this post because I haven't posted here in a very long time. I just wanted to talk about why that is.



In my previous post on this topic I talk a lot about school, and how school is very stressful. I also talk about the stress of student loans. The truth is, this is more than school stress. I'm going to be honest here. This is honestly a growing despair that I've been dealing with.



I have quite a few mental health issues, and the stress of school and living off student loans and having to work very hard to keep my scholarship has drained me entirely. I have barely been reading for fun, and when I do read, it's on the bus, usually. The rest of the time I am doing school work, or trying to relax my brain after doing hours of school work and constantly stressing about everything from my health to my grades.



I don't want any of you thinking I'm too lazy to blog, or that I don't care about you. I think you're all so awesome. The reason I haven't been posting or leaving comments on your blogs lately is because every little thing feels so draining when every single day is characterized by varying degrees of stress about different things.



When I say despair, I mean it in the literal sense. Sometimes my mind spirals into a very dark place and I have to work hard to lift myself up again. Getting up in the morning has become a challenge. I'm serious when I say I'm worried about my sanity.



I'm not posting this for pity. I'm posting this for several reasons.



First off, so many of you comment and interact with me on my blog or twitter or whatever and it just makes me so happy when you do that. I feel like I have a kind of friendship with many of you, and I don't want any of you to think I don't care about you anymore, or that I am just abandoning blogging and interacting with you awesome people.



Second, I believe in open dialogue about mental health. I think that talking about our mental health struggles openly can help to diminish the stigma around these issues. I don't really have anything to lose by talking about it, so I guess I'll contribute to a culture that I hope will someday become a better place for the mentally ill. And the low income, as well.



Third, I am honestly just kind of tired of keeping on this mask that everything is ok and that I'm great. I tend to use exclamation marks a lot (at least in my perception) and I think I do that subconsciously because I want to come across as upbeat and fun despite the stress and pressure. I just want to take a second to put some context out there, to reveal a bit of who I am beyond reviews and fun tags and all that.



Again, I'm not looking for pity or anything. I just think that for those of you who like my blog, who like me, it's only fair that I'm honest and open about why I haven't been online much lately. I'm the kind of person who tends to power through things and persevere, so leaving my blog as I have has made me very uneasy.



I'll be back someday, I just can't guarantee when. For now, I'll mostly be here through the occasional tweet or instagram post.



Thanks.


Also please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. It's one in the morning 😝

Where Have I Been?!?!?!?

Hey everyone! So I haven't posted on here in a while, and I haven't been too active on social media either.


I figured I should make a little update post to explain things.



It's actually fairly simple...school. Holy mother of chocolate, school.



This semester has been absolutely brutal so far. I have so many more readings for my classes than before. The readings are longer, and more dense. I also have to do lots of close reading because we have assignments based on the readings. So, I have to put all of my energy into the readings as well! I have to see all the fine little details.


My assignments have been super intense as well, not to mention mid-term exams and tests. Overall, I am so exhausted. It's made worse by the fact that I have to keep my grades up to keep my scholarship (or else I'll have to pay extra, and as someone on student loans, that is a very scary possibility.)



So, please forgive my absence. I still love books, and all you awesome blogger friends! I've just been so busy and so tired. It's been a very stressful semester. Hopefully once things settle down a bit, I'll be able to blog regularly again!



Happy reading!

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski

 Series: N/A
Author: Mark Z. Danielewski
Page Count: 709
Published: March 7th, 2000
Publisher: Pantheon Books
  4 Stars ★★★★

House of Leaves follows the story of Zampano, Johnny Truant, and Will Navidson. Told through footnotes, a text-book style narrative, and editor's notes, the tale of a house that is a bit larger on the inside than on the outside unfolds. With exhibits and appendixes to enrich the story, the fear, confusion, and mystery behind Navidson's home is explored.


Zampano, the mysterious author of the Navidson Record manuscript, passes away, leaving the manuscript behind. Johnny Truant acquires it, and finds that it changes his life. The tale of the impossible house is more than just a story, and the eeriness of the account seems to bleed into the real world. Add the fact that Zampano was blind and that The Navidson Record, the supposed documentary film that Zampano's story details, doesn't exist, and you get a world of intrigue.


I bought this book because I'm looking to get into more horror-style stories. I was surprised by the book, however I can't really say I was truly scared. There were a few moments in the book that were genuinely eerie, but the almost academic-style narrative of the Navidson Record killed any fear that I might have surrounding the whole house situation. Characters did face scary situations, but I was never simply scared overall but rather scared for them. That's really why this book lost a star.....something was missing in the scare-factor.


This book definitely gets points for uniqueness. I've never read anything like it before. There are multiple stories being told in this book, and while I worried that it could be hard to keep track of them all, it honestly wasn't tough at all. There is a lot of flipping back and forth, what with referring to the exhibits, appendixes, etc.., but everything seemed really organized.


There are points when you have to flip this book to the side, upside down, or look in a mirror (or really focus to read the backwards letters). At times I was a bit annoyed, to be perfectly honest, especially concerning some of the pages that had just a few words, but the novelty aspect of this book overshadowed any annoyance I had.


The characters were all quite interesting, with Zampano being a mystery, Johnny being a complex character with problems of his own, and of course the characters of the Navidson Record providing an intriguing narrative. I admired Will Navidson's curiosity and determination. Honestly, if my house were as freaky as his had been, I'd just get out of there! But instead he wanted to explore and to understand what was going on. I have to admit I often empathized with his partner, Karen. She was worried about him and wanted him to stop exploring, and I really understood her worries. Seeing both sides of the conflict like this really added to my experience reading this, because I couldn't decide what I wanted! So of course I kept reading, to see the outcome.


I can't say too much more, because this seems to be the kind of book that you have to really experience yourself. I could go on about the story, but this book is more than just the story. The format really affects the reader's perception of the story, which I obviously can't detail online! If you're curious about this book, I'd suggest picking it up. Just be prepared for a long read, some slower parts, flipping your book upside-down, and reading backwards.


I recommend this book to those looking for a unique mystery. If you like unusual books, this book is definitely for you.


Find House of Leaves on Goodreads

Book Talk

Hey everyone!


Today I wanted to talk about books (as usual).


As someone who uses Goodreads, I often see my Goodreads friends' shelves, including their currently reading shelves. Sometimes, I see people who only read one book at a time. Other times, I see five or six books shelved as currently reading!


Personally, I tend to read two books at once: one physical, and one eBook. I tend to read the eBook on the bus. Sometimes, there will be three books on my currently reading shelf because I have received a review copy. How many books do you tend to read at a time?

This image was found here

I was also thinking about books as de-stressors. When you have four papers due in the next two weeks, or work is getting stressful, I suggest taking some time to relax and read. As a university student, I have a lot of assignments and assigned readings. However, I find myself managing them by dividing the readings into blocks, with breaks in between. I like to relax and read for fun during these breaks. I also like to set goals each day: for example, I make myself read two of my assigned readings one night, and then get to relax and read for fun for the rest of the night. This way, I have an incentive to push through my assignments. I use reading for fun as a reward. It's also great when I get stressed about assignments to remind myself that I have tons of awesome books waiting to be read....that I'll be able to read non-stop during winter and summer break.


Finally, I wanted to discuss reading on the bus. I mentioned earlier that I tend to read my eBooks on the bus. I read them on the ride to and from school, and I like them because they help me to wake up, or to wind down after my classes. They help the bus ride go by faster as well, which is great.


Do you have any similar, or different, reading habits?