I haven't posted in a long, long time.
At first, it was just a hiatus. But over time, I've begun to feel that I don't want to blog anymore. I have a few reasons for this.
One, I am exhausted all the time. I struggle already with getting out of bed in the morning (I do every morning anyway), and I find most things 3 times more exhausting than the general person seems to. I'm not looking for pity, this is just the facts.
Two, I have been reading less due to stress and school, and I am unsure when I will get my "regular" reading pattern back (ie 50-90 books a year).
Finally, the blogging and book community is, in many ways, petty and toxic. That isn't to say that my lovely followers and blogger friends are this way. That isn't even to say that the average reader or blogger is this way, either. But there are individuals and groups in the "book-sphere" which just HAVE to make drama all the time, and I am so exhausted every time I find out there is a new set of drama or feuds. I fear being the target of this kind of drama myself someday, and I get nervous that I will have the "wrong" opinion of a book. I've also noticed a parallel, opposite push that ridicules readers who want diversity in books; I have read reviews of books with nonbinary characters that have only been posted, seemingly, to make fun of nonbinary people. I'm tired of this. There is no need to attack readers for what they like, there is no need to hate on marginalized people because some of them get a bit riled up sometimes, or because you don't understand them. I'm done with worrying about being bullied online, I'm done with seeing drama everywhere, I'm done with it all.
This is not to say that I will never post reviews again. Someday, I may start up my blog again. I may post reviews on Goodreads. I may post snippets of my thoughts on Twitter or Instagram. And I am definitely going to keep my social media because I want to stay connected to my awesome blogger and reader friends (whose blogs and social media feeds I look at often, by the way. I'm just not always so sure of what to say in the comments! But I am there, I swear). But I don't want to worry about this anymore, I don't want to wear myself out when I'm already so tired, and I feel that right now, the best way forward is to halt my blog indefinitely.
I hope you will all still follow me on my various social media because I do value the connections I have made through my blog and passion for books. I'm still me, I'm still here.
Thanks.
