Pride Month

Happy Pride Month everyone! So I wanted to make this post to talk about my thoughts on Pride Month, my own struggle with my gender identity, and recommend some LGBTQ books.



Just a warning, I will be discussing dysphoria and bigotry in this post, along with a negative view of my gender identity. 



First off, Pride Month is essentially a month to celebrate the LGBTQ community. It is, contrary to some peoples' perception, more than just a month of waving rainbow flags around and shouting "I'm gay!" It is a month to celebrate how far we have come. It is a month to celebrate many countries decriminalizing homosexuality, legalizing marriage equality, and acknowledging transgender and nonbinary peoples' existence. For me, it is also a month to reflect on the state of LGBTQ rights worldwide (though I honestly do that all year round). While LGBTQ people generally face an easier time living in western countries (such as my own country of Canada), it is also important to remember that things are not perfect here yet. While many of us are lucky not to live in a country that prescribes the death penalty for LGBTQ identity, prejudice still remains. LGBTQ people are often looked down on, disowned, bullied, abused, and used as a scapegoat for causes outside of, and even within, their own communities.



I remember going to my first pride parade. Seeing people be themselves brought so much hope, it made me literally cry. I grew up in a very queerphobic home, went to queerphobic schools, and met many, many queerphobic people. Coming out as bisexual (later as pansexual) to my family did not go well, and I struggled with dealing with gender dysphoria as a genderfluid person, alone. So to me, pride parades are a symbol of hope, and of moving forward.



I also like pride parades because I like seeing transgender identities celebrated. To be perfectly honest, I hate being genderfluid. I hate it. I mean, we've all seen those videos of happy go lucky, chatty genderfluid people talking about their clothes or their pronouns or their favourite kind of coffee. But its not really like that. That's a snapshot of a genderfluid person's life: it doesn't show the whole picture. While not all genderfluid people may experience life as I do, my experience is very painful. My dysphoria fluctuates severely, which means my inner sense of self, and my inner sense of gender, fluctuates as well. I believe this is because my brain is somewhere in between the male and female range of development (just as trans men have male brains and trans women have female brains). Because my dysphoria and gender identity fluctuate, that means that I will never ever be rid of my dysphoria. Ever. There is this narrative of (binary) transgender people as trapped in their own body. Well, thats quite literally my experience. I could get surgeries and take hormones. And I'd just be paying to have dysphoria opposite the type I have now. So here I am. As you can see, this is a very negative experience for me. So it is nice to take a break from brooding over my dysphoria, and its nice to take a break from hateful, cruel comments against nonbinary people from both outside of, and within, my own community, and see a place where I can let it all go and celebrate my existence.



You might wonder why I feel the need to talk about this, about my identity, my struggles, and my thoughts. I want to be out so I can challenge stereotypes and prejudices, correct misunderstandings and misconceptions, and maybe even inspire other people like me to look forward with hope in their heart. That is why I'm going to add this: your gender identity and sexual/romantic orientation are all wonderful parts of who you are, and if they cause you suffering (such as in my case), remember that you are not alone, you are not broken, and together we can work for a better future.



Alright. Now that my ideas on pride and my identity are out of the way, its on to the books!



I am going to suggest some LGBTQ reads. I may have suggested some of these last year as well, but I might have new followers that haven't seen last year's post so I will repeat some of them.



So I suggest Symptoms of Being Human, Mask of Shadows, and Freakboy for nonbinary characters. Freakboy is actually written in a poetry format, and Mask of Shadows is a cool fantasy.

Genderfluid Flag

I also recommend Reign of the Fallen, which has a bisexual character and lots of other queer characters as well. Switch is a (recent) historical book with a bisexual male character, and Seven Ways we Lie features a pansexual character.

Pansexual Flag

Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda is a fairly light-hearted contemporary story featuring a closeted gay boy, and When Everything Feels Like the Movies is a heartbreaking novel featuring a queer main character. Proxy is a great dystopian starring a gay boy, and Three Truths and a Lie is a short mystery featuring a gay couple.

 Gay/LGBTQ general flag

Captive Prince is an adult novel featuring LGBTQ relationships, and The Crimson Spell is a gay adult manga that I enjoyed. Finally, a great and emotional book featuring a forbidden LGBTQ relationship is If You Could Be Mine, and a nice anthology of real-life stories about life as an LGBTQ person is It Gets Better.



I'm also going to shamelessly promote the anthology featuring my short story I Am Logan (where I write as Caleb Andrews).



So there are just a few LGBTQ books I enjoyed and recommend. Please tell me what you think of these books, and also recommend some more in the comments!



Happy Pride month to all, and remember that there is hope beyond hatred.

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller

 Series: Untitled
Author: Linsey Miller
Page Count: 384
Published: September 5th, 2017
Publisher:Sourcebooks Fire
  4 Stars ★★★★

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. 

Sal is a thief, living in a world complicated by politics and war. Still haunted by the 'shadows', they steal for Grell, but they're tired of it. After stealing from some nobles, Sal finds a flyer that could change their life. If they prove their worth, they can audition to be part of the Queen's Left Hand, a group of assassins that get their namesakes from the rings that the Queen wears. Opal has died, and this may be Sal's chance for a new life, and vengeance. 

The competition is deadly, and the stakes are high. With a romance blooming and drama between contestants, Sal will be lucky to survive with their heart, and their life. 

So this book was really awesome. It was close to perfect, I am so happy that I received an ARC from NetGalley! 

First off, Sal was genderfluid. I am genderfluid, and there are so few people like me in books that its incredibly exciting whenever I come across a nonbinary character! Not to mention the way that Sal's genderfluidity was incorporated into the book.... I loved it because it wasn't the focus of the plot. Sal was casually genderfluid, kinda like how most genderfluid people just wake up and live their lives like everyone else, eh? While I think stories about identity and coming out are great as well, I want to see more of this, more books with nonbinary people just existing as nonbinary individuals, not necessarily on display for their identity. I loved the casual way that Sal's pronouns were discussed, and the way that most characters just complied. It was quite optimistic and a great break from the real world where just the mention of singular "they" will spark a fight. I also loved the way that Sal described genderfluidity and I thought it was really accurate. I won't quote it since this is an ARC and the final manuscript may prove to have minor differences, but when you read the book, you'll get what passage I'm talking about. Anyways, this was an awesome aspect of the novel, I really appreciated the diversity!

Then there's Elise, the love interest. Elise is a noble of Erlend, a nation whose people haven't been kind to Sal's people. Elise is smart, assertive, and likeable! At first, Sal is a bit wary of Elise, almost using her, but I love how later in the book they realize their feelings for her! Alongside Elise is the idea that a person is not the sum of their heritage, or their nationality, and I thought that was a really great message. Sal realizes this and it adds to their growth as a person throughout the novel, in my opinion. This just made me love the book, and Sal, more. 

I also have to mention that there are some emotional scenes in this book. I can't say much without giving it away, but if you get attached to characters, get ready to potentially have your heart shattered!

I also loved the beautiful descriptions throughout the novel. Metaphors and such really added to the way I visualized Sal's world. I loved this fantasy world, I loved getting lost in the danger of the shadows and the life that Sal was escaping, and the life they were ultimately working toward. However, this book lost a star because sometimes the world-building was confusing. Maybe this is because I'm new to this type of fantasy, but I had trouble keeping up with all the political drama, national tensions, and historical events. 

Overall, this was a really awesome fantasy novel! I loved the inclusion of a genderfluid character, and I really like Elise and the messages that accompanied her character. While the world-building could use a little work, the author's descriptions were often beautiful. 

I absolutely recommend this book! If you're a fan of fantasy novels, this book is for you. If you are interested in a book featuring a genderfluid person, you'll want to pick this one up. I know that once this is released in stores, I'll be picking up a copy!

Find Mask of Shadows on Goodreads

Pride Month Books

June is LGBTQ Pride Month! In honor of pride month, I have decided to talk about LGBTQ books that I have read, want to read, and are currently reading.

LGBTQ Books That I Have Read

   

   

Captive Prince is a gay romance that I won off of Goodreads! I really enjoyed it. Switch features a bisexual boy dealing with biphobia in his community. If You Could Be Mine is a bittersweet story of two girls in love in Iran, and Pink features a bisexual girl in an Australian setting. Symptoms of Being Human is my favourite out of all of these because it's about a genderfluid person, and there are so few books about us genderfluid folks! 

LGBTQ Books That I Want to Read

  

  

  

There are lots of LGBTQ books that I want to read as well! A few of them include Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out, Seven Ways We Lie, Brooklyn Burning, Carry On, Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda, and Two Boys Kissing. There are sooooo many more that I want to read, but this post would never end if I listed them all! 

LGBTQ Books That I Am Currently Reading

   

I'm reading two LGBTQ books at the moment, Mask of Shadows and Unnatural. Mask of Shadows is from Netgalley while Unnatural is from the thrift store! I am so excited to be reading Mask of Shadows because there are so few books with genderfluid people in them, and to read a fantasy book with a genderfluid protagonist is super awesome! 

Thoughts

I guess I just have some general thoughts to share on LGBTQ books! I'm really glad to see more and more books featuring LGBTQ characters being released every year. Whether they are main characters or side characters, I always get excited! 

I also like that there seem to be books that don't focus on coming out. While books about this are still awesome, I love to read about LGBTQ people just existing in daily life, whether that be in a contemporary setting or in a magical fantasy world. On that note, I've seen some comments and reviews about Mask of Shadows, my current read, concerning the fact that the focus of the book isn't the character's gender identity. They just happen to exist as a genderfluid person. Some readers have said that they don't see a point to having a genderfluid character if this isn't essential to the plot, and that they think the genderfluid part is kind of ridiculous (um, ouch?). People seem to lack the understanding that genderfluid people....casually exist.....like everyone else.....and every second of every day isn't focused on our genders! Gasp! And so our genders don't have to "add" to the plot. Does every book with a female protagonist have to be about 'girl power'? No? Then why should all representation of nonbinary people have to be all about that one aspect of the character? Just some food for thought. 

On the other hand, that's not to say that books that don't feature LGBTQ people are bad! I love many books that star cisgender, heterosexual people. However, as an LGBTQ person, I like to see characters like myself in novels and stories. 

So, that's it for this post! Tell me about your favourite LGBTQ books, whether they be fiction or nonfiction. Are you currently reading any LGBTQ books? Have you read or want to read any of the books that I've mentioned today? 

Happy Pride Month!

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz

Series: Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe
Author: Benjamin Alire Saenz
Page Count: 359
Published: February 21st, 2012
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
  3 Stars ★★★

Aristotle doesn't have many friends. A fifteen year old boy living in Texas, the summer provides a welcome break from school. He meets Dante at the pool, when he offers to teach Aristotle how to swim. They start a close friendship that both will cherish and that will withstand misfortune, distance, and growing up.

The main characters in this novel, Aristotle and Dante, were definitely enjoyable to read about. The story itself is told through Aristotle's eyes, so the reader gets to know him a bit more than Dante. Aristotle is surprisingly mature for a fifteen year old, and he's dealing with his own issues at home, including his father's memories of the war, and his brother's absence. Dante, on the other hand, seems to have a simpler life, with a professor for a father and, as with Aristotle, a Mexican identity.

However, this book didn't really have a plot. The whole thing seemed more like a journal written by Aristotle than a novel. There didn't seem to be any main story line besides growing up, making friends, and discovering oneself. I personally prefer books with more defined plots, lots of action, or at least a central conflict. But this book lacked these elements. Even as a contemporary novel, it was almost boring at times in comparison to other contemporary books.

The dialogue between Aristotle and Dante was, in my opinion, unrealistic. Sure, they can be mature for their age. But the way they were speaking didn't seem typical of fifteen year old boys, even mature ones. I felt like I was reading dialogue between two university students, at times. While I'm not a fan of stereotyping people, particularly based on one's age, there's no denying that the behaviors common in teenage boys generally do not include pseudo-philosophical ideas or flowery language, as observed in this novel.

I can't say too much about the ending of this book without spoiling it, but I will say that I think the ending was rushed and unrealistic as well. Very little, through Aristotle's eyes and thoughts, was expressed throughout the book to even hint that the book may end this way. Considering that it concerns a fairly important part of Aristotle's identity, I was really disappointed that the book ended this way, or, that the author failed to include any hints or ideas throughout the book that may have pointed to such an ending.

On the positive side, I will say that I appreciate that this book tackled some tough subjects such as hate crimes, and it did so pretty well. I found myself devastated when one of the characters found themself targeted by bigots, and Aristotle's descriptions of the situation really tugged at my heart.

Overall, a contemporary novel with some interesting characters, but it falls short. There was lots of potential for this book to be absolutely, five-star level amazing, but the lack of concrete plot and unrealistic dialogue took away from my reading experience.

I recommend this book to fans of young adult books, contemporary novels, and stories about friendship.

Find Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe on Goodreads

Proxy by Alex London

Series: Proxy
Author: Alex London
Page Count: 384
Published: June 8th, 2013
Publisher: Philomel Books
  4.5 Stars ★★★★

In the City, there are patrons, and there are proxies. Patrons pay proxies to take on their debt, which includes punishments for misbehavior and crimes. Knox is a wealthy teenage boy who has lived a privileged life, especially compared to Syd, his proxy, who lives in the poorer area of town. 

Syd has spent almost his whole life being punished for Knox. He's having a fairly normal, if slightly unfortunate day: he's had to give blood for his patron, he's been outed as gay, and he has offered to help fix a peer's gadget at no cost. Things change when the Guardians come for him, and he is sentenced as a criminal, because Knox's recklessness has killed someone.

Syd decides that he won't throw his life away for a thoughtless, wealthy patron, and he escapes the Guardians. After stumbling across Knox, they go on a journey, hoping to save Syd, and maybe to change their society's entire system, too.

I've increasingly found myself drawn to sci-fi and dystopian fiction. Finding a dystopian novel with an LGBTQ character was a pleasant surprise, and finding this novel at the thrift store brought an extra smile to my face. I can truly say that this book was almost perfect, with my main issue being that I wished that it was longer! 

The world that Syd and Knox lived in was described in such detail that it seemed like a real place. Everything from social norms, to social classes, to the legal system was clear and connected and made for a great reading experience. Worlds where everything just fits together nicely, like this one, are the best fictional worlds, in my opinion. 

The differences between Syd and Knox made this book even more interesting. Knox was super wealthy and privileged compared to Syd, who lived his life dealing with punishments for Knox and swimming in debt. The juxtaposition of the situations of these two characters was especially important when it came to the way that the author switched perspectives from chapter to chapter: the book was in third person, but the situations of the two boys, especially when they were separate, were described and explained from their eyes or thoughts. 

Both characters were likeable in their own ways, though I preferred Syd over Knox. Some of the side characters, such as Syd's friends, played important roles as well and created twists and turns in the story, which of course kept me reading on! The fear that Syd felt, being pursued by people with lots of money and power, was absolutely understandable and brought a special kind of suspense to the page. 

The ending was super emotional for me. I can't say much without giving it away, but the twist....I have to read the next book, I need to know what's next for this world!

I recommend this book for people looking for sci-fi or dystopian books with LGBTQ characters. If you like young adult books with themes of power and rebellion, this book is for you.

Find Proxy on Goodreads

Blue is for Nightmares by Laurie Faria Stolarz

 Series: Blue is for Nightmares
Author: Laurie Faria Stolarz
Page Count: 284
Published: November 8th, 2003
Publisher: Llewellyn Publications
  4 Stars ★★★★

Stacey is a junior at a boarding school, a witch, and has been having nightmares about one of her best friends. In these nightmares, it is undeniable that Drea, her friend, is in trouble, and she soon worries that these dreams may come true when strange gifts and phone calls start arriving.

Stacey uses the magic that her grandmother taught her with hopes to reveal who is behind all of this. But will she be able to unravel the messages in time?

So the first thing I'll say is that this book is rather short, but the length works for the story. I was worried that it might be too short and that the ending could be rushed, but it was paced well and I enjoyed it quite a bit.

When I started this book I was expecting more of a paranormal or supernatural mystery, but instead what I got was more of a contemporary story with religious or realistic magic. Stacey wasn't the kind of witch who can summon lightning from her fingertips, rather she uses candle magic and reads cards for divination. 

I really liked this aspect of the story. Most of the witch or magic books that I come across, especially in the young adult genre or range, are more mystical and based in the witches and warlocks of fairy tales and movies. I was surprised to find that the character actually practiced Wicca, because I rarely find Pagans or Neo-Pagans in YA books! 

The mystery itself, of who was targeting Drea, was suspenseful and interesting but to be honest, it didn't feel very original. I was also somewhat disappointed with the ending and who turned out to be the culprit. Their motive didn't make much sense to me, it seemed slightly over the top for the situation. I thought the villain seemed kind of stupid, actually, for thinking that they could get what they wanted through scaring Drea? I can't say much else with spoiling it. 

Between this book and Deadly Little Secret, I can say that I definitely enjoy the writing of Laurie Faria Stolarz. I will be looking for her books in the future, however, I won't be absolutely rushing to get the sequels. I feel like while I like her books, I'm not absolutely blown away. 

I recommend this book to people who want to read a more realistic or diverse portrayal of magic! If you want a YA mystery, you may enjoy this one.

Find Blue is for Nightmares on Goodreads

Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin

 Series: N/A
Author: Jeff Garvin
Page Count: 352
Published: February 2nd, 2016
Publisher: Balzer + Bray
  4 Stars ★★★★

Riley is the child of a congressman, loves rock music, and is genderfluid. They aren't out to anyone but their therapist yet, but they start an anonymous blog under the name Alix so that they can discuss their experiences as a genderfluid person. When Riley moves to a new school, they experience harassment and bullying, but they also make a few friends. Suddenly, their blog becomes extremely popular, and it appears that somebody may know Riley's true identity. Will Riley have the courage to come out before somebody reveals their identity to the world for them?

I was super, super, SUPER excited to read this book. There are very, very few genderfluid characters in books, and so as a genderfluid person myself I was really hoping that someday, a genderfluid character would appear. Then one day, this book was recommended to me, and my wish was fulfilled! I was certainly not disappointed with this book, though it didn't exactly blow my mind, either.

First off, I was impressed with the way that the author depicted gender dysphoria. Actually, by reading this book, I found another way to describe dysphoria, so I'm thankful! It appears that the author did his research concerning what its like to be genderfluid in a world where just the idea of someone being nonbinary provokes confusion or even mockery. I think that the author writing about a genderfluid character was a brave step, and I'm hoping that it's one that will help people to consider including nonbinary characters in their own books in the future.

Riley as a character, as a person, reminded me a lot of myself and of other nonbinary people I know! Riley's taste in music and clothing gave them a distinct image, and their struggle with anxiety and depression was incredibly relatable. While Riley seemed a bit reactive and dramatic at times, these flaws added to their character and deepened my understand of their flaws and struggles. It was interesting how Riley interpreted different interactions, and often their attitude really mirrored real life. 

My main issue with this book was the bullying. Bullying is certainly an unfortunately common occurrence, especially for LGBTQ people. However, the bullying depicted in this book seemed fairly unrealistic or just cliche. The bullying was at times even cheesy, and occasionally I feel it went a bit over the top, or became fairly over-dramatic. Maybe things are different where I live as opposed to where the author lives, but I interpreted much of the bullying that Riley deals with as based on stereotypes, as opposed to real life. Now, the cyberbullying was well depicted, with the various trolls, anonymous haters, slurs, and even the threat of the online bullying extending into real life. I also want to mention that there is an instance in the book where a sexual assault, or at least a near-sexual assault, occurs, and this might upset some readers, so I felt it was important to include a warning in this review. While I think that it's important for some books to exist which don't mention serious issues, serious crimes, like this, against trans people, I think that this book incorporated this assault very well and depicted it realistically. I think this part is obvious, but this book was at times a very emotional experience for me, especially since I have such a connection with the main character.

I also feel like there was a bit of an awkward use of pronouns within the book. For example, the author used things like "she/he" or "she...or he?" and similar pieces, when characters of indeterminate gender were present. At times this felt awkward to read as it didn't fit well into the sentences, and I'd suggest that authors make use of the singular "they", as it sounds smoother and also spreads the general awareness that there is, in fact, a valid gender neutral pronoun for people to use if necessary or requested.

Overall, this emotional book captured a lot of important details of what it means to be a genderfluid person. While I had issues with the somewhat cliche bullying and the awkward use of multiple pronouns, I was not disappointed and I hope to read more books by this author in the future. 

I recommend this book to readers looking for something with a genderfluid main character. If you are a fan of LGBTQ novels, and you like contemporary young adult stories, this book is for you.

(Note: the author uses "gender fluid" with a space, but I prefer to spell it as one word, "genderfluid", so I used my preferred spelling in this review).

Find Symptoms of Being Human on Goodreads

She Loves You, She Loves You Not... by Julie Anne Peters

Series: N/A
Author: Julie Anne Peters
Page Count: 288
Published: June 1st, 2011
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
  3 Stars ★★★

Alyssa's father doesn't react well when she comes out to him as a lesbian. She ends up disowned, broken up with her girlfriend, and taken in by Carly, her birth mother, a woman she barely knows at all. Adjusting to her new life proves to be tough, as she must deal with the pain of rejection, the heartbreak from her failed relationship, and her mother's own secret past. Along the way she meets Finn, a new friend in this new town, a friend who might just turn into something more. 

I have a few things to say about this book. First, I really liked the portrayal of an LGBTQ person struggling with bigotry from within the family. I feel Alyssa's situation was incredibly well written, and that the author did a great job of expressing Alyssa's feelings on the matter and how it impacted her in her day to day life, both before and after coming out.

I also enjoyed reading about all of the different characters, from Carly (Alyssa's biological mother) to Arlo (the manager of a store who lives his life in a wheelchair). However, there was one issue with the characters: I didn't really like the main character! I was able to empathize with Alyssa considering her issues coming out and being rejected, but as a person, I didn't find her very likeable. She was a bit too judgemental for my taste, she wasn't the kind of person I'd like to be friends with in real life. 

I also feel like the pacing was a bit too slow for me. While I read this book fairly quickly, there wasn't truly much going on. I understand that contemporary fiction can sometimes be a bit slower than fantasy fiction, for example, but there has to be some excitement. While there certainly were exciting pieces, such as Carly's past and the mystery surrounding it, much of the excitement was jammed into the last thirty percent of the book, which made the rest of the book seem so slow, and the ending way too fast! 

There really isn't much else to say about this book. It was short, and while it portrayed a situation that unfortunately is all too common in the real world, the main character wasn't really likeable and the pacing was too slow for my taste. 

I recommend this book to those looking for YA contemporary featuring LGBTQ characters. If you want to read a book about someone dealing with rejection due to their sexuality, this novel provides a look into the thoughts, hopes, and worries of a teenager struggling with that situation exactly.

Find She Loves You, She Loves You Not on Goodreads

Fjord Blue by Nina Rossing

 Series: N/A
Author: Nina Rossing
Page Count: 256
Published: March 10th, 2016
Publisher: Harmony Ink Press
  3 Stars ★★★

Benjamin arrives in Norway after crashing his father's car, expected to work on his grandparents' farm for the summer. After acting out because he has discovered that he is gay, he spends his days getting up early and working with the other employees on the farm, including Even. 

Benjamin soon develops feelings for Even, feelings that only become more distracting when they move into the same bedroom. What starts as a friendship might turn into something more, if Benjamin is willing to take a risk. Benjamin isn't the only one dealing with his own problems, and he'll soon learn that love can come from the most unexpected of places. 

Most young adult books that I read take place mostly in North America, so reading about rural Norway provided a pleasant change from the usual American setting. This was one of my favourite things about this book, reading about the way of life for those living in rural Norway, the descriptions of the landscape, it all seemed so different, and at times beautiful. 

Benjamin, the main character, seemed to clash with the beautiful scenery described in the novel. Rebellious, angry, and uncertain of the future, his mind is filled with worries and fears. While I connected with his struggle concerning his sexual orientation and I really understood that part of his story, that was where my positive feelings for him ended. As a character, he wasn't truly likeable. I don't expect all main characters in books to be likeable, but sometimes, it affects the way that I perceive a book overall, and for Fjord Blue, that was definitely the case. Benjamin was, to me, quite immature for a seventeen year old, and his first person narration gave me insight into some of his thoughts, often riddled with sexism and judgement. I found myself cringing at some of the things that he said and thought, and while I wished him well, I really wanted him to evolve as a person. He did evolve a bit, but not as much as I'd have liked. To be perfectly honest, his thought processes reminded me of those of fifteen year old boys trying to be edgy upon entering high school. 

Even, his roommate and crush, was much more mature and likeable. He had his own struggles, some of them similar to Benjamin's, and reading about them broke my heart. His family situation reflected real life far too vividly, but I really appreciated the discussion of bigotry and judgement from one's family that was present in this book. As for Benjamin's parents and grandparents, I can't say that I truly liked them, but I didn't really hate them, either. Some of their actions made them seem like positive role models for Benjamin, but others had me shaking my head. Either way, the cast of characters, whether I liked them or not, provided a decent way for the author to convey Benjamin's journey of self-discovery and change. 

As I mentioned, I loved reading the pieces where the author describes the landscape and scenery in rural Norway, however, other parts of the writing style didn't quite reach my expectations. Mainly, I had an issue with the way that Benjamin's narration would trail off and go on and on about the different experiences he'd had and the things that he had dealt with. I feel like these aspects of Benjamin's life could have been added into the story in much more effective ways, honestly I felt like I was reading somebody's diary at times and it threw me off. I'd forget what was actually going on in the present, and when I finally emerged from the paragraphs of Benjamin's personal thoughts, I'd have to go back a bit to remind myself of what the current situation had been. 

Overall, this story offered some great insight on the struggles that LGBTQ youth may experience, but the main character wasn't very likeable. I loved that this book took place in Norway, but Benjamin's thoughts often trailed off and interrupted the flow of events. 

I recommend this book to readers looking for LGBTQ books that take place outside of America. If you're interested in young adult books about gay teenagers and family problems, you may enjoy this book. 

Find Fjord Blue on Goodreads

Switch by Douglas Davey

 

  Series: N/A
Author: Douglas Davey
Page Count: 252
Published: October 24th, 2014
Publisher: Red Deer Press
  5 Stars ★★★★★

Things change for Sheldon on the day that he finds himself undeniably attracted to another guy. While he's definitely attracted to his girlfriend, Jenny, he can't ignore what he's been feeling and struggling with, and he fears that he might be gay. After some research, he discovers the word bisexual, and decides that it fits him much better than either gay or straight.

When he decides to come out, things don't exactly go as planned. Instead of the calm acceptance he expected, his girlfriend freaks out, he becomes distanced from his friends and his peers start to bully and threaten him. He's afraid for his well being, and even for his life. When he finds a group of classmates who are similar to him, he doesn't feel so alone anymore. But will things work out for him? 

I don't even know how to describe how much I loved this book. I got super excited to find a book featuring a bisexual person, a bisexual boy at that, because bisexuals, and in my opinion especially bisexual guys, are often underrepresented in fiction. Not only is he bi, but the author actually explicitly uses the word bisexual! I was super happy to find a book that didn't dance around with the words 'gay' and 'straight' and surpass bi altogether, as many books I've read often do.

Anyhow, aside from my excitement over representation and all that, the story itself was amazing. It seems like an ordinary story, a contemporary young adult novel describing coming out, bullying, and finding a community. But to me, it wasn't. This book discussed the actual things that LGBTQ people deal with, sometimes on a regular basis, and it did so honestly and with a unique and likeable voice. It dealt with the emotional turmoil that Sheldon, the main character, was feeling, and included themes of self harm and biphobia, which were both heartbreaking and breathtaking in their portrayals. I love how the author wasn't afraid to include biphobia from other members of the LGBTQ community, which is so often glazed over, and that while Sheldon dealt with self harm, it wasn't over-dramatized or exaggerated, but incredibly realistic. I mean, I actually cried. And I was in public too! I think that sums up how emotional this book was for me, personally. 

Something that really stuck with me was the idea that anyone could be like Sheldon - struggling with who they are, afraid of what their future holds, dealing with rejection. The book also included footnotes on many pages, with Sheldon as an older adult giving commentary on his life situation after coming out. That also added to this idea of anyone possibly dealing with what Sheldon dealt with, because it was kind of like a reminder that there are older LGBTQ people who have lived through a much less tolerant time. For example, the author says, in the interview at the end of the book, that this was set in 1988. While it seems like only a short time since then, lots has changed, and to have a look at what things were like back then was eye-opening, and I appreciated having a historical setting.

Unfortunately there were a few negative things, such as some typos, but nothing major. I was happy to see pansexuality mentioned, however the footnote defining it made it seem like pansexuals are attracted to absolutely everyone, which I'm guessing was not the author's intention, but rather a strange wording or misinterpretation of the wording itself. The majority of my thoughts on this book, however, are incredibly positive, as you can see. 

I most definitely recommend this! If you're interested in LGBTQ narratives that take place in the past, this would be a great pick. For those looking for books about bisexuals, coming out, and bullying, this is the perfect book. 

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Pretty Little Liars by Sara Shepard

 

 Series: Pretty Little Liars
Author: Sara Shepard
Page Count: 286
Published: October 1st, 2006
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  3 Stars ★★★ 

Aria, Emily, Spencer, and Hanna are four girls with one thing in common - they were all friends with Alison DiLaurentis, who went missing. Now, several years later, in their junior year of high school, Aria returns from Iceland where her father moved their family right after Alison's disappearance. The girls have drifted apart, Hanna shoplifts, Spencer is an over-achiever and Emily is struggling with her relationship.  

They begin to receive texts from someone who calls themself 'A'. And this 'A' knows about some of their most personal secrets, secrets that only Alison knew. But she can't be back, can she?

The thing that I liked the most about this book is the way that the chapters tell the stories of each of the four girls separately, yet describes the ways that they are still tied together. While in third person, the narration of some of their thoughts gave a great insight into how they were dealing with their various issues and where the story would go next.

However, I can't help but to think that this book seems almost unfinished. I understand that it's a series, but there wasn't a whole lot of action really going on throughout the book. There were smaller things, with personal tensions and a few more major incidents, but nothing too exciting or mysterious. Even the description of 'A's texts were disappointing. I was hoping for more thrills and more close calls, but this book didn't really deliver on that expectation.

It actually seemed almost like an extended beginning of a book, like a really long introduction. I can say, though, that the big reveal and 'A's message at the end definitely sets up some interesting ideas for the next book. For a short read, this was enjoyable, however I feel like it went too slowly and was too short. 

Fans of contemporary YA novels will like this. If you're interested in YA mysteries this could be a good read for you.

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Top 7 Book Crushes

So I saw a post I really liked at The Butterfly Reader and it got me thinking....All I really see is "book boyfriends", where people describe the hot, sweet, or otherwise desirable male characters they come across in books. But what about all of the lovely book girlfriends? What about swoon-worthy nonbinary characters?

As a pansexual person, I personally find myself attracted to people of all genders / regardless of gender. This, of course, carries over into the realm of book characters! So I thought I'd join in on these lists with my own interpretation. Here are my top 10 book crushes.


1. Raven from Vampire Kisses

 

She seems like she would be super fun to hang out with, she's sweet and I have a thing for goths. 

2. Sam from Shiver

 

A werewolf? Who sings????? Sign me up! 

3. Eve from Eve

 

Eve has a rebellious side, she's incredibly intelligent and she fights for what she believes in. I find those things super attractive in a person.

4. Varen from Nevermore

 

This list would not be complete without Varen, a mysterious goth boy who kind of reminds me of myself. Though that might just be wishful thinking ;) 

5. Meghan from The Iron King

 

I feel like Meghan is a very brave character and is loyal towards those she loves. 

6. Tanith from Skulduggery Pleasant / The Maleficent Seven

She's a bad-ass. She's got magic. She's pretty. She's determined. What's there not to love?

7. Bram from Dearly, Departed

I think that Bram is a really sweet character, and he's funny too. Definitely one of my book crushes.

So those are my top 7 book crushes as of now! I'm sure I'll end up with many more in the future. Who are your top book crushes?

Pink by Lili Wilkinson

 

Series: N/A
Author: Lili Wilkinson
Page Count: 310
Published: February 8th, 2011
Publisher: HarperTeen
  4 Stars ★★★★

Ava has come out as a lesbian and is dating Chloe, who prides herself on not being like others her age, and who encourages Ava to do the same. However, Ava wants to try new things, to go to a new school, and maybe even to wear pink. 

She tries to keep her school and personal lives separate, hiding her relationship with Chloe from her classmates, and not telling Chloe that she's signed up to help with the school play. But as Ava questions her sexual orientation, her relationship with Chloe, and what she wants for her future, her secrets catch up to her and she can't hide who she is, or who she thinks she may be, any longer. 

I was impressed by this book because I often find it hard to get into YA contemporary novels, but I had no trouble getting into this one. While it felt a little bit slow at times, overall I found it quite fast-paced and I was never bored.

I thought it was interesting to see characters who were all so different compared to each other. There's Chloe, the rebel. Then there's Ava, who wants to fit in. Other characters included various outcasts, goths, theater kids and the popular crowd. However, while these groups are often found to be cliche, they didn't feel that way in this book. The presence of characters from these cliques seemed, to me, to mirror real life through a portrayal of the way that high school and life in general is often divided up, including prejudices, secrets and all.

I liked the way that real-life issues, such as sexuality, school, and the future were addressed and discussed through Ava's thoughts and experiences. I understood a lot of Ava's confusions, worries, and hopes, which helped me to care about Ava, and kept me reading on. I found her to be an interesting and relatable character.

However, I feel that a few things were missing from this book. For example, I wish there had been more discussion and scenes considering Ava's relationship with her parents. I wanted to know about her past with them, maybe about less happy times, or when they disagreed. I feel that this would have made for some interesting dialogue.

I also wish that this book hadn't completely skipped over multi-sexual identities such as bisexual and pansexual. When Ava is exploring her sexuality, it would make sense that these words would come up at least once somehow, whether in conversation or Ava's own research. Considering Ava's struggle, and the context of much of her dilemmas and thoughts expressed throughout the novel, the idea that people don't actually have to "choose" between feeling attraction towards men, women, or nonbinary people would probably have crossed her mind at some point. And yet, I don't feel like this idea was present, in any significant way, throughout the book.

I found it interesting how the author approached the theme of belonging, whether belonging to a social group, a clique, or a relationship. Usually when this theme is addressed, I've noticed more of a trend towards the protagonist wanting to be different, wanting to escape the clutches of normalcy and venture into the unknown. Ava's story was the opposite. She wanted to fit in, to be like everyone else and to be "normal". This was a nice change and made for a refreshing read.

This was an enjoyable, quick read. I recommend this to readers who enjoy YA contemporary, and to those looking for books with themes such as sexuality and belonging.

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Marked by P.C. and Kristin Cast

 

 Series: House of Night
Author: P.C. and Kristin Cast
Page Count: 306
Published: May 1st, 2007
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
  3 Stars ★★★

 Zoey is a normal teenage girl dealing with family issues, school, and her (almost) ex-boyfriend. That is, until she is Marked to become a vampyre, and moves into the House of Night, a school and home for fledgling vampyres. There, she quickly makes friends, but also makes enemies.

With her unique Mark and an invitation to join the Dark Daughters, Zoey looks to her grandmother and the goddess, Nyx, for guidance. In order to take down Aphrodite, the shallow, selfish leader of the Dark Daughters, she'll need to use her goddess-given gifts.

I recently found this book at a thrift store and decided to pick it up and give it a re-read. I read it a few years ago, and I had enjoyed it quite a bit during my first reading, but this time I saw things a bit differently.

Zoey, the main character, is surprisingly shallow and judgemental, in my opinion. You'd think that after dealing with her own issues, including her unique Mark, she might take a step back when it comes to making generalizations or assumptions about others. This wasn't really the case, and her friends at the House of Night were also shallow, judgemental, and even immature at times. These characters reminded me more of preteens than of actual teenagers.

I did like how the characters came from different backgrounds and had diverse identities. Unfortunately, I felt like sometimes stereotypes were overused concerning these characters, or that the characters shamed people who did fit the stereotypes. For example, we have Zoey kind of throwing feminine gay guys under the bus, so to speak, making sure to explain that the gay male character was cute, but certainly not in an "overly girly" way, or a "swishy girly-guy" (pg 82 in my edition). Things like this were present throughout the book, in many different contexts, and contributed to Zoey's shallow side. However while things like this were annoying, they didn't take away from the overall plot.

I really enjoyed the unique way that the authors approached the idea of vampyres. Instead of being bitten, one is Marked, and even then there is no guarantee that one would survive long enough to become a full-fledged vampyre. Adding the question of whether or not Zoey, or those close to her, would die from the Change made the book suspenseful and created an extra layer of problems for Zoey to deal with. Mixing real life problems such as relationship issues along with paranormal worries made this book all the more interesting.

I am planning to continue reading this series as I hope to see the characters mature, and to read more of this unique take on vampyres! I recommend this book to fans of YA and of vampire stories.

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Ash by Malinda Lo

 

Series: N/A
Author: Malinda Lo
Page Count: 264
Published: September 1st, 2009
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
 5 Stars ★★★★★

Ash's mother dies, and soon after her father marries Lady Isobel. But when her father falls ill and dies as well, she is left in her stepmother's care. They move away from her childhood home to a new one, where Ash lives her life as a servant. 

 She becomes acquainted with a fairy, Sidhean, and later meets the king's huntress, Kaisa. While she's grateful for their company, she longs to attend the various events taking place around her home, including dances and hunts. But while her wishes may be granted, they come at a price.

 I don't read many fairy tale retellings but this one was worth reading. I was worried that it would be exactly the same as the story, Cinderella, which it was based on, but the author changed things up a bit in interesting and enjoyable ways. I liked the way that fairy stories played a part in this book, and the way that Sidhean was portrayed. He wasn't open and generous as the fairy godmother in the Cinderella stories that I've read, instead everything had a price and this added some tension and a bit of suspense. However, I do wish that the author had added more scenes with Sidhean because I wanted to know more about him. 

I thought Ash was a great main character, she tried to make the best of her situation and she never truly gave up, even when things seemed impossible. She was strong and determined, and at times a little bit impulsive, but she was overall very likeable. Kaisa was also a great character and a good love interest, however I wish the author had added more dialogue between her and Ash. I wanted to know more about Kaisa's life!

The world-building was incredible, I felt like I was there with Ash throughout the whole book and I could picture the settings vividly. The descriptions were amazing, the author describing everything in detail so that I could see everything as Ash did. I usually get bored when there is too much description but I was completely entranced by the way everything seemed to come alive like a movie in my mind. 

I do feel like the ending was a bit rushed and almost convenient. While this didn't take away from the quality of the book overall, it irked me a bit that everything was resolved so easily. If the curses or spells that had been cast upon Sidhean were really so strong as to make him feel emotions as intense as love, it shouldn't have been so easy for Ash to get out of paying the price for her wishes. 

This was a great retelling of Cinderella, with a few twists and amazing world-building. I recommend this to those looking for books with LGBTQ characters without a focus on coming out, fans of fairy tale retellings and those who enjoy fantasy novels.

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Where No One Knows by Jo Ramsey

 

Series: N/A

Author: Jo Ramsey
Page Count: 180
Published: June 2nd, 2016

Publisher: Harmony Ink Press

  4 Stars ★★★★

 I received a free copy of this book through Netgalley.

Kellan is forced to flee his home after he accidentally sets fire to his stepfather's friend. Running from vengeful members of a church who disapproves of his transgender status, Kellan struggles to control his pyro-kinetic and psychic abilities. 

While he is on the run he is assisted by Shad, who also has psychic abilities and who hopes to send him to a home, for people with these abilities, safely. But with blood-thirsty men on his trail, there is danger at every turn.

I love reading books about psychic powers of all kinds, but I find pyro-kinesis an especially intriguing idea. I feel like this book executed Kellan's struggle with pyro-kinesis, along with his other powers, incredibly well and without any sort of cliches. I liked the way that the author described what it felt like for Kellan when he was close to unleashing his powers, as it made me feel like I was experiencing the build-up and struggles just as Kellan was. 

Kellan was a very, very likeable character. He exhibited many positive qualities throughout the book, particularly bravery and determination, during each part of his journey to safety. I'd say that he is a positive role model as well, doing what was right despite the consequences and refusing to return hate with hate.

It was nice to read a book featuring a transgender character without the plot being completely based on this fact. While books primarily discussing identity are important, it is nice to see representation of these characters in other situations as well, and this book did just that.

There was a lot of suspense present throughout this novel. Whenever Kellan feared being caught by his stepfather's friends, I was worrying along with him! Being sucked into the story like this made everything all the more enjoyable and believable.

It's important to note that this book didn't really contain any romance, except for a few crushes and some attraction between characters. There is also some tension between two of the characters but it doesn't affect the plot in any major way. I was surprised because most YA books I've come across use romance as a primary theme, but this one did just fine without it.

My only major issue with this book is Kellan appearing not to hate the members of the church who hurt him and his family so much, who literally tracked him down with intent to kill him. Like I mentioned, I think it's awesome that he refused to return hate with hate, but on the other hand, its a bit unrealistic considering the magnitude of what he was going through, thanks to these people. There were other little things throughout the book that irked me a little bit, but they're not significant to the overall quality of the writing or story.

I recommend this book to fans of twist endings, stories about being on the run and YA. If you're looking for a good book featuring a transgender character and psychic abilities, or something without romance as the main focus, you should check this one out!

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Ten by Gretchen McNeil

Series: N/A

Author: Gretchen McNeil
Page Count: 296
Published: September 18th, 2012

Publisher: Balzer + Bray

  3 Stars ★★★

Meg and Minnie are best friends who are excited to spend the weekend at a house party on an island. The only way to the island is by ferry and their families have no idea where they are going. It seems like the perfect act of fun and harmless rebellion, and the fact that the popular and hot T.J. is going to be there just adds to the excitement.

After meeting with the others at the house, all ten teens gather around the television to watch a movie and end up deciding on a disc labelled "don't watch me." The disc contains a mysterious and threatening message and leaves all the teens on edge, which only worsens when one of them is found dead.

With suspicions that there is a killer amongst them, trust is wearing thin and Minnie's mental state gradually worsens. People are dying, and anybody could be next. Could this have to do with the picture of the dead girl that Meg found in her room?

This book wasn't exactly what I had expected. From the reviews I read and the synopsis on the back of the book, I expected this to be creepier. There were creepy elements, though it seemed like more of a mystery than a horror book. Which is fine, in itself. But I guess I was a bit disappointed.

First off we have Meg. The main character, Minnie's best friend, and crushing on T.J. She was alright as a character, but I did find her annoying at times. Who would worry at all about romance, appearances and boys while people are dropping dead, you have no way to communicate with the outside world and there is literally a killer within the vicinity? I feel like the author could've integrated the romantic aspect of the story a bit better. It seemed unrealistic for such a tense and frightening situation. An example of this is on page 105: "She must have looked like some dorky tween just up from a slumber party...who was about to go down to the boathouse with a hot boy. Alone." I sincerely doubt one's priorities would remain so superficial in such a tragic situation.

There were some inaccuracies within the book, especially considering Ben's so-called tree nut allergy. This bothered me a lot. A bit of a spoiler, but there is a scene near the beginning where the characters are eating a salad, Ben has a reaction so severe that his face is literally described as turning purple, and Meg stabs his leg with his epipen. Then a few minutes later, Ben is back to normal and says, "It's no big deal, guys. Seriously. Happens all the time" (page 55). I feel like the author does not know anybody with severe tree nut allergies, and that she didn't do her research. When you give somebody an epipen because they are having an allergic reaction so severe that their face turns purple, you still need to take them to the hospital because the epipen only helps for a few minutes. Not to mention that he reacted to almonds, which technically aren't actually tree nuts. They are actually considered seeds. This annoyed me so much, because I felt this was lazy on the author's part and I am disappointed that this sort of inaccuracy somehow made it into a professionally published book.

Once again, just disappointment.

I guess this just adds to how unrealistic the book was for me. Meg thinking about romance and her looks as people are dying around her. Ben's laughable reaction and allergy.

There were some good things, of course. There were several surprising plot twists, for example. I wasn't expecting them at all. I like how the author used the stormy weather to add to the suspenseful atmosphere and create challenges for the teens, which added a decent dose of dread to the story.

If you're a fan of YA thrillers you might enjoy this book. If you like dark stories with lots of plot twists I recommend this. If you're willing to look past, or are not bothered by, inaccuracies and some unrealistic situations, this could be enjoyable for you. 

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The Dangers of Fairy Compacts by Katey Hawthorne

Series: Fairy Compacts

Author: Katey Hawthorne
Page Count: 46
Published: June 25th, 2012

Publisher: M/M Romance Group @ Goodreads

  5 Stars ★★★★★

Aeron is a faery who always hears a voice in his head. One day, the voice becomes louder than he can bear and he follows it all the way into the mortal realm.

He meets Tammas, a priest, who has unknowingly bound both of them together. Tammas is frightened and Aeron has nowhere to go, and finds himself angry and residing in a tree until he is finally invited into Tammas's home. 

Aeron is stubborn and rather confident while Tammas is shy and unsure, but soon enough, despite their quarrels, an attraction forms. Will they ever break the binding spell? And what will happen when Aeron is sent back home? Will he and Tammas ever see each other again? 

This is a short, sweet novella, and it was free when I downloaded it, which is a great bonus. It surpassed my expectations and despite its short length, I was pulled into the story and I learned so much about both Aeron and Tammas.

I love faeries and I love romance. Give me a shy, adorable human and a confident, stubborn faery and I am satisfied! This story did just that.

The romance took enough time to develop, but I wasn't kept waiting for too long. The erotic scenes were perfect and sweet, and in my opinion adorble, and the ending made me want to read more about Tammas and Aeron! I will definetly be reading more of this author's work in the future.

Overall, very cute and romantic. I appreciated this good quality, gay romance novella, and I recommend this to fans of gay romance, faeries, and short and sweet novellas.

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Indelible by Dawn Metcalf

Series: The Twixt
Author: Dawn Metcalf
Page Count: 384
Published: July 30th, 2013
Publisher: Harlequin Teen
 5 Stars ★★★★★

Joy is out with her friend when she notices the mysterious black-eyed figures. Strangely, nobody else seems to notice them, and when they approach her, one of them cuts her eye. After visiting the hospital and repairing her injured eye, she experiences strange flashes and sees disturbing things....things that break windows, frighten her to her core, and leave messages for a mysterious "Ink".

Soon she meets Ink, along with his 'sister' Inq, and they are revealed to be the black-eyed strangers responsible for her injury. It turns out Joy has been marked by Ink, he has given her his 'signatura' and she is now his 'lehman'; his companion or lover. 

Now Joy must play the part of 'lehman' and pretend to feel fondness towards Ink, and he must do the same towards her. If they're not convincing enough, they could get into a lot of trouble. However this actually turns out to be the least of their troubles as Joy is attacked by grotesque creatures and used against Ink by vengeful and power-hungry members of The Twixt. 

This book was SO unique. No love triangle, which I know some people may appreciate. No insta-love. Even the paranormal creatures of The Twixt were unique, they reminded me of the fae and of fantasy creatures associated with fae stories. Yet, they weren't outright labelled as faeries, or trolls, or goblins. 

Joy's world and the world of The Twixt were absolutely mesmerizing and I often found myself envious of Joy, while simultaneously cheering her on for the whole book. She was a very likeable character, I could relate to her well and I cared about what happened to her. Even if the world-building and creatures hadn't been as amazing as they actually were, I know I would've kept reading to see what happened to Joy. 

Then we have Ink. Ink is many things; a Scribe, a mysterious and ageless paranormal being, the source of Joy's confusion and enlightenment.....but above all he is a fantastic character. He stands out amongst all the other YA male main characters and love interests. I found myself quite envious of Ink as well, with his awesome powers and unique name and whatnot. 

As I mentioned earlier, there is no insta-love, the romance is very believable in regards to Joy's situation and the pacing is perfect. The evolution of Ink and Joy's relationship was equal parts exciting, sweet, and emotional.

As for emotions, this book played with mine so much! At first I kind of hated Ink, after all he was the one who injured Joy. But then I started to like him. By the end of the book I loved him! I also felt Joy's emotions like they were my own, I understood her fear and I shared in her sadness. As for the ending, I felt like I was reliving the whole book within those last pages. So many emotions were jam-packed into the end, I found myself putting the book down to process what was happening.

I have to mention my appreciation when it comes to the inclusion of an LGBTQ character. While this character isn't really a main one, they're still a part of Joy's life and are therefore of some importance. 

I can't wait to get my hands on book two, I MUST know what happens next. This has earned it's way into my favourites collection, and I am sure the second book will do just the same.

Overall, a fantastic book that I don't have any criticism or complaints about! I recommend this book to YA readers who enjoy fantasy and paranormal books, and to those looking for a unique romance. If you're looking for a 'breath of fresh air' within the young adult genre, this book is a must-read. 

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